Trick or Treat Y'all

I confess, I am a reluctant car owner. But a year on The Lot and I have grown to appreciate fine cars - their excellent construction, the power and performance, beautiful design, fuel economy, and prefer no less than a 6 cylinder...yada, yada. I drool over a hot muscle car with the most macho of guys. For days I was intoxicated after test driving a Porsche Boxter on a warm summer night down I-240. I get it, I really get it.

But the thing is this: the issue I have with owning cars is the same one I have with house cleaning. I consider both necessary irritations. What I find irksome is that there's always something that needs to be done and it always costs money and time. For instance, if I could wash the dishes, sweep and mop the floors, do the laundry, fold all my clothes and tuck them neatly away, clean the bathroom, ad nauseum, and not have to do it for another year or two, that would be fine. But you and I know that is not the case and so it is with cars. Maintenance is everything.

This summer The Guys bullied me into buying a car. "If you don't buy it, I will and you are gonna be mad as hell when it's winter and cold and nasty and you're on the bus for another year and I'm buzzing around in your face at 30 miles to the gallon!" threatened Coop. Good point, my man, good point.

After a day or two of harassment, I folded and plunked down $150 - anyone else would have paid $500 - for a little 95 Kia Sephia. I was willing to change my negligent ways and make the effort to take good care of Spunky Red. Timely oil changes, sturdy tires, visits to The Senator Mechanic for her regular check-ups were all at the top of my list. I overlooked her cosmetic issues, among them her off-colored hood that never quite closes and her chicken wire designer grill, a status feature of quite a number of cars here in Oklahoma. She's not much to look at but she's got soul, and she's super bad or was...

And here is where the story gets sad. Food runs are a central part of life on The Lot. 'You fly, I buy' is the call. Whoever goes for the food gets treated to a meal. The decision on what cafe is a negotiation that can take hours. This ritual is part of the car salesmen bonding. I don't partake very often but last night I did. Into Spunk I jumped and off to the Micky D's. Sadly, on the way back I was hit by some jerk who didn't have the common courtesy to stick around. Yep, I was the victim of a hit-and-run. Bummer! So, Spunky Red sits in a parking lot around the corner from work with her front drivers section bent up and a mess, totaled.

After having made such a gallant effort to be a responsible car owner, I am crestfallen. See what it got me? Of course, all The Guys suggested that they could get me into another car for a really good price..wink, wink. Right, we'll just see about that. I wasn't deposited on The Lot just yesterday.

Trick or Treat Y'all,

LAFF